It's dawning on me that I need a new job, and the reasons are twofold (really, I'm sure I could come up with more folds, but there are two I'm concerned with right now).

The first, I realized that on days when I work less than four hours in a day (which is two to three times a week), I'm only making $25. Plus tips if I'm delivering, but you never know what that will yield.

Secondly, and this is the big one, our uniform consists of jeans or khakis and a company t-shirt, or, in the summer, denim or khaki shorts and a company t-shirt. And our t-shirts have to be tucked in. Which is fine in store because you're wearing an apron, but on deliveries I'll just be walking around in denim or khaki shorts with my t-shirt tucked in, and I'm going to look like such a gaytard.


In other news, you should look at this three-year-old elephant who stepped on a landmine (sad), and now has a prosthetic leg. Because she's a total super cutie.



Also, after being arrested for drunk-driving in pursuit of blowjob, Charles Barkley spent 36 hours in the jail of super-racist Phoenix sheriff Joe Arapaio. On the bright side, he spent his 36 hours trying to learn a second language, electing to read The Complete Idiot's Guide to Spanish. You see that nativists? (Arapaio, I'm looking at you.) Even Charles Barkley understands the importance of bilingualism. It's time to fall in.