I got a text message today from a number with a 317 area code (the Indianapolis metropolitan area, according to Wikipedia). The message was marked urgent, and it read, "Ok!" I don't know anyone from Indianapolis, but apparently things are good and they wanted to spread the word.

I haven't had anything to say in a while because other people on other blogs are always saying the things I want to say, but with better diction and funnier jokes. And I never follow up when I make a new character or feature because it's just too much effort, man. I can't be bothered.

But here are some things that've been going on in my life:

The other day I saw a turkey walking around in front of the rifle range. That's a bad place for a turkey to be.

At work on another day I was slicing a different turkey and a piece of it shot back and hit me in the neck. It was so gross. So spongy and wet. And then it fell in my shirt and I couldn't get it out because we have to tuck in our t-shirts.

The same day at work, I had to deliver to a place that distributes tanning beds. It seems so weird to me that such a place exists, but I guess everything needs to be distributed by somebody. Even the dumbest thing ever.

The thing I love about Easter is how much ham I get to eat. I love ham.

Nothing else comes to mind.